when remus first got bitten by a werewolf his parents rushed him to the hospital and they were like “what’s wrong?” “he was bitten by a werewolf” “oh god. what’s his name?” “remus lupin.” “sir are you fucking with me right now”
- baby: t- t-
- parents: the baby's first words!
- baby: t- thh- th-
- parents: three??? thing???
- baby: t- tha- tha-
- baby: That’s right, I am Kira. And what can you do? Kill me right here? Hear this: I’m not only Kira, but I’m also God of the new world. Kira has become law in the world we now live. He’s the one who’s maintaining order. I have become justice, the only hope for mankind. Kill me? Is that really the right thing to do? Since Kira’s appearance six years ago, wars have stopped and global crime rates have been reduced by over 70%, but it’s not enough! This world is still rotten… with too many rotten people…. Somebody has to do this! And when I first got that notebook all those years ago, I knew I had to do it—no, I was the only one who could! I understood that killing people was a crime. THERE WAS NO OTHER WAY! THE WORLD HAD TO BE FIXED! A purpose given to me! Only I could do it! Who else could’ve done it and come this far?! WOULD THEY’VE KEPT GOING?! … The only one… who can create a new world… is me…
to describe a monster,
when all you can remember is
the way that he smelled...and
how nice it felt
to be in his arms.
yesterday i went to buy something and the store owner looked up and said something to me in chinese and i was so surprised i just said “what” in english and then we stared at each for a full ten seconds like what the fuck we are in spain
- Europeans: I drove forty minutes to the Netherlands for some groceries and then I popped into Germany to see some of my relatives before driving back home.
- Americans: I was in Florida, I drove for nine hours, now I'm still in Florida.
- #australians: i drove for nine hours #now i'm nine hours away from home #no one is here #the streets are empty #how did this happen #where has civilisation gone #i am alone in the universe #oh wait no there's an echidna it's okay
the best thing about disney songs is singing every character’s part in them with your best impression of their voice
#I’M NEVER GONNA CATCH MY BREATH #saygoodbyetothosewhoknewme #boY was I a FOOL in SCHOOL forr cutting GYMMMMMM #thIS guy’s got ‘em scared to DEATH!#HOPE HEDOESN’T SEE RIGHT THROUGHME #now I really wish that I knew how to SWIMMMMM